I watched this movie on HBO that recently just aired…last week, I think but I wanted to share this with you because I feel that if you have a child with autism/aspergers syndrome that you MUST watch this movie. I’m not gonna spoil it for you but basically it’s about Temple Grandin, a woman with autism, and her struggles from her diagnosis to her adult life and what she had to overcome to succeed. Yes, she is a success. I literally CRIED during this movie… there are also parts where you will laugh and be amazed (just the way the film is made with certain sounds and visuals to let you “the viewer” know what she “Temple” is hearing or seeing). Claire Danes KICKED ASS in this movie and did an amazing job playing Temple. Please… please, I urge you all to watch this movie and let your friends watch this movie and keep this movie in circulation because we have to let everyone know that our children are “different, not less”. That was the theme of the movie and I feel as though this movie should be required watching for any newly diagnosed child’s parent. It’s profound and eye-opening. You wont regret looking at it.
Archive for the ‘All About Autism’ Category
Advice and insight to what you may be wondering about autism, your child, and you.
Early Intervention (Being in denial)
Posted by Ilicia on December 18, 2009
Okay, I know I haven’t been on in a while but I had to think about something I’ve never talked about before. I had a friend ask me for some information about someone to evaluate her friend’s child. I was so happy that she would think of me to ask and was thrilled because this is why I blog and try to spread the gospel on Autism Awareness. I gave her information for Early Childhood Intervention (ECI) and told her to tell her friend that if she ever needed any extra info or just support that to look at my site and give me a holler. It’s what I do.
With that being said, she emailed me back with a “thanks” and told me that her friend was in denial. See, her friend’s son is 8 years old and is currently in public school. (Side Note: I could really go on a rant about the question “Why the hell is my child 8 years old and the school is JUST NOW contacting me about him being evaluated?” but I’ll get on that one after I finish this.)
This is what I dread for children with any disability (especially autism). When a child is put through the system and they slide through the cracks, the chances of seeing some real improvement when they do receive services to help them, are very slim. I’m not saying that it can’t happen, I’m just saying your chances of them retaining a lot is low. The reason I say this is because with going to your regular well-check visits and being curious and concerned with your child’s speech and development being slow or at a stand still should be enough to light a fire in you to find out what’s going on. It should send you on a mission to find out what’s happening to your baby.
I was told that my son would “talk when he is ready” and because “he needs to be around more children” that he was fine and that I shouldn’t worry. That’s crap. Unless your child is just isolated all day with no human contact at all, they should have regular social, motor, and speech development. Plus, you are a mother and you will always worry. If you have a feeling inside that something is not right and you bring your child around other children their own age and you see a gap in the developmental area, please go through the process of getting your baby evaluated. Take your child to the doctor to get their hearing tested, genetic screening, MRIs, EEGs, and etc. because when it’s all said and done, when you look back, you would have rather done all that you could and be right, than to have done nothing and be wrong.
For a child, the ages 1 month to about 6 years old are very crucial. These years they absorb, mimic, and learn so much. When getting the diagnosis for your child, it’s important to start with speech therapy and/or occupational therapy as soon as possible so that in this period your child can retain as many skills as possible to be able to function and communicate as best as they can.
When you wait until they are 8 years old and they have not been through any testing, it will be a much more difficult journey than if you had been diligent in the first place. Learned behaviors are set in and almost irreversible.
Please, if you have concerns about your child’s development, intervene early. You are the mother. You have the responsibility, regardless of what others try to make you believe, to prove without a doubt that your child is fine and if they are not, to do all that you can for your baby. Don’t wait. Take your child to be evaluated and some places even do an evaluation free of charge or on a sliding scale based on income. Do what you have to do so that your child may have the best chance at life they can.
Programs available in Tarrant county:
MHMR of Tarrant County
ECI of North Central Texas
3880 Hulen Street, Ste 400
Fort Worth, TX 76107
Referral Number – (888) 754-0524
Fax Number – (817) 569-4492
Email: debbie.lisheron@mhmrtc.org
Web: www.mhmrtc.org
Child Study Center
1300 West Lancaster
Fort Worth, TX 76102
Phone: 817.336.8611 Fax: 817.390.2941
Posted in All About Autism | Tagged: arlington autism, arlington texas autism, autie moms, autism, autism autistic, autism awareness, autism parents, autism support, child study center, fort worth autism, local support autism, MHMR of tarrant county, special education | Leave a Comment »
We want another baby…I think.
Posted by Ilicia on October 22, 2009
We all, as mothers, have had that urge to feel pregnancy again. Whether it was just giving it a brief thought or really contemplating it seriously with your spouse or significant other. I’m feeling like this now. I have visions of what it would be like to hold another baby and to equally love this new child as much as I love the one I already have. But, as a mother that has a child with autism, that’s not an easy decision. In fact, it’s a frightening one. There’s so much that could go wrong but on the other hand there’s so much that can be right about it.
You may have fears that your eldest (or child with autism) may not be as receptive to the baby as you thought they would. What if my son feels left out or regresses in behavior as a result of the new child? What if you feel the need to still give all your attention to the only child (autie) and that doesn’t give you room (so you think) to include a new child.? What if the new baby has autism too?
Truth is, there are statistics that will calm your nerves slightly about the thought of having another baby. Autism prominently appears in male children and the numbers are probably better for the second child. But at the end of the day, it’s all just numbers. No one really knows what will happen.
You can ask yourself these questions until your brain melts, but the point about it is something can happen regardless of whether your other child have autism or not. There’s a chance that something bad will happen just like there’s a chance something wonderful and beautiful will happen. I know I’ll have other children after nursing school but I want it to be worry free from all those questions. I will keep my faith in God and pray for healthy babies. That’s all you can do. You can’t stop living because something that made you feel like dying happened. It happened. We have to leave with that. But there is so much beauty and love to be had and shared. Why not have another child?
Posted in All About Autism | Tagged: autie moms, autism parents, beautiful, newness, other children, siblings, talking, triumph | Leave a Comment »
Tantrums and public perception (don’t pull your hair out)
Posted by Ilicia on October 22, 2009
I’ve been through this, thank God, and have little to no problems out of my son now but I realize that other mothers may be in this stage. Say you’re at the grocery store and your kid starts screaming to the top of his/her lungs for any number of reasons: they want something you just passed by, they don’t want to go down the aisle you just went down, they are hungry and didn’t tell you/couldn’t tell you, the sounds being made in the store are too much to take, or just because they want to. This is hard to deal with because it’s not just like any other child’s tantrum. I think an autism tantrum is different in that the child wants something/or wants to tell you something in which they cant express whereas with a typical child they can just tell you and if you are saying no about it they then show defiance.
I can tell you from personal experience that this was beyond embarrassing for me because I would either get one of two responses from people (mostly other women). One response would be (damn her kid is bad, if I was her I’d whoop that kid’s ass, she’s letting that kid run over her) and the other would be (she’s being pretty rough on that kid, does she have to discipline her child here, she’s abusing her kid, that is so wrong). Either way you feel like “damned if I do, damned if I don’t”. People from first glance are not going to be able to tell that your child is handicapped and you are showing restraint and being patient with the next moves you’re trying to make to counteract your child’s behavior.
There is a solution to your problem, though, it will take a lot of work and patience on your part. When your at the store, find out what is triggering the tantrum. If it is something that they want and can’t say it, take it home with you and work on saying/or signing for this item. Bring toys and food with you to the store so your baby can be preoccupied while you shop. Make a little booklet or notepad with a story (I did this one) that explains what happens while going to the store.
If it’s an issue with wanting a food or toy in the store before you pay for it, here’s something you can do. I suggest giving your child some money, let them get in front of you, and show them how to pay for their items (that way they can eat/play with it and you can be at ease). If they can’t wait until you get finished shopping, try it in the middle of your shopping and start your shopping back up after you’ve given them the money and they’ve paid for their things. You have to teach them there is an order to shopping and I wouldn’t just give the item to them to have because they will want to open and eat everything and it’ll just defeat the purpose of what you’re teaching.
Sometimes your child, having autism, is so used to routine that any little variance from that can cause a tantrum. You have to understand that in their minds things are supposed to happen the same way, if it doesn’t the tantrum happens. Say for instance, you notice that you child has a hard time transitioning from place to place or from activity to activity. What you can do then is tell you child, ” Okay, in 5 minutes we are leaving the store and going home.” “Okay, in 3 minutes we are leaving and going home”… and so on until you get to a minute and then reach out your hand and start walking slowly away. They will then associate this with leaving one thing and starting something else. Your child may not even understand the concept of time or minutes but it will be a repetitive thing that happens during a transition. (This is what worked for me, it might work for you).
Just know that you can’t stop taking your child places because of how they behave. If you have to explain to waitresses/waiters in restaurants that your child has autism and that you need a well-lit place with minimal noise, do that. That is your right. You have a right to have a good time and be accommodated when you patronize a place. You have to get your child used to socializing and different environments. As time goes on and as your child gets older, it gets better.
If you have to explain to onlookers and people with frowns and confused looks that your child has autism, then do that. It spreads information and stops ignorance in its tracks. Because at the rate autism is going, in the future they all will know someone with a child with autism. Sometimes we forget that they, our children, look typical and it’s hard for people to imagine such normal looking children have this disorder. It is our job to educate people about it and show them that our children do matter and they will respect us.
Posted in All About Autism | Tagged: autie moms, autism, autism autistic, autism parents, coping, going out, local support autism, talking, tantrums, teaching, tips | 1 Comment »
Inclusion: He’s just not ready
Posted by Ilicia on October 21, 2009
Having a child with autism that is in public school is difficult, to say the least. I want to talk about one of the hardest things I’ve had to experience as of late. My son’s teachers had been sending notes home about his behavior and I was getting a little aggravated at the fact that they couldn’t find anything positive to say about him. I did what any good parent would do and I made a surprise visit to the school and what I saw really humbled me and mad me feel…sad, I guess.
See, my son is so smart and advanced in his own ways that I just automatically assumed that he could be included in the typically Kindergarten class. His IEP calls for him to be included in the Kinder class for 30 minutes a day and I wasn’t pleased that the times that he was attending were recess and during lunch. As time went on, his 30 minutes was spent during handwriting and I was okay with that. I wanted more for him, though.
My trip to the school and to his 30 minutes in the Kinder class was a reality check for me, of sorts. What I saw was all these typical children sitting at attention, listening to the teacher, and responding to questions. I also saw that my son had to sit with his Sp.Ed teacher and was disruptive, inattentive (at times, he did answer a few questions the teacher asked… this made me very proud), and at sometimes just paying attention to things he didn’t need to (too much visual stimulation in the room).
Don’t get me wrong, I am not disappointed in my son. I think I’m more disappointed in myself that I didn’t come to the school sooner and see with my own eyes that my son has a hard time dealing with all that going on in a classroom at one time. It’s not that he can’t do the work. He can, if he’s assisted. When I stepped out the class I felt myself well up and a pang in my chest just let me know where my son stood at that point.
From there I was told that when my son turns six years old, he will be age out of PPCD and be in the LINK program (link is special ed. that extends to the 5th grade). I visited the LINK class and the teachers introducing myself to them and settling my mind around the fact that my expectations may be different from the outcome might be.
I left there and visited the Principal and talked to her for about an hour about my son. All my questions were answered. What I was mainly confused about was: How will my son’s learning and progress be measured “grade-wise?” I was told that he will be in the LINK program and that based on what he can retain and give back to them, letting them know he understands will make that decision. If he is on a 3rd grade math level and that’s all he can retain and understand and he is physically in the 5th grade, that’s just the level he is on and he will be passed to the next grade. He will just be taught based on what he can handle not what his peers can do at the same level. Still, this is unsettling to me… but it’s a reality I have to accept.
I keep asking myself, “Am I doing enough, could I be teaching him more than I am?” I dont know. I dont want to rack his brain…pushing as much information in there as I possibly can…for what? To make him equal in some kind of way? I dont think that’s what I want to do. Would this be making me feel better or doing something for me and not him? Probably. I’m doing my best. That’s all I can do.
Posted in All About Autism | Tagged: autie moms, autism, autism parents, inclusion, kindergarten, LINK, school, special education, teaching | 4 Comments »
School….rant.
Posted by Ilicia on September 29, 2009
I was going to sleep, but I’ve changed my mind. Looking in my son’s backpack, I saw his comment sheet from school and it had a yellow smiley face with a frown on it. No comment on it, just the homework due for the next day. There’s nothing to tell me what my son did today or how he felt…nothing. And I’m pissed.
Why can’t the teachers just write what I need to know. On days that he “supposedly” does good and has a green smiley, they still write negative comments about his behavior and what he refused to do. Every little thing is documented. This is the first day I see a yellow smiley (with a frown) and it has no comment. What?
I’m going to the school tomorrow. I’m just going to pop up and see what’s going on for myself. I am so frustrated with the school system as a whole it just…sucks.
Alright, I’m through..going to bed now.
later.
Posted in All About Autism, What's poppin' now | Tagged: kindergarten, school, special education, teaching | 2 Comments »
Characteristics of Autism
Posted by Ilicia on August 16, 2009
Not all children with autism are the same. Autism is a spectrum disorder which means there are different poles from severe to mild and all the way in between. Some of the characteristics of autism that are noticeable between 24-36 months of age is lack of eye contact, fixation with certain objects, and the inability to interact with other people or to have a reaction to certain things going on around them. For instance:
If you start to notice that your child does not respond to their name or acts as if they can’t hear, that is a sign. Fixations with certain objects goes further than just “liking” a car or a truck, they will have it with them always and they will probably play with whatever the object is in an inappropriate way or will probably be destructive and tear the object up. As far as interaction with other people and action going on around them: if a loud train passes or a car is honking or anything loud and exciting is happening and they are not phased by these things, those are signs as well.
On the other hand, when a child with autism does respond to different things it can be a disstressing situation. Sometimes, they can respond violently to things that are uncomfortable to the senses for them and can sound like they are literally in pain from whatever is near them or touching them. At times this may be difficult for the parents because sometimes the thing that we (as parents) want to give them the most (hugs, kisses) might set them off and my cause that same reaction.
Other signs and symptoms that stand out are tantrums (which can be caused by a number of reasons, some of which we will not know about), inappropriate laughing, unusual body moving such as rocking, spinning, or spinning objects. Children with autism are creatures of routine. If their routine is disrupted sometimes they react negatively and the day can go wrong, in a sense.
I feel like all these signs and symptoms are all things that make our children unique and it’s their way of letting us know how to communicate with them. All we have to do is teach them “the language of the land” and watch them come out of there “shell”. I’ll talk more about these later.
Posted in All About Autism | Tagged: autie moms, autism, autism awareness, characteristics of autism, echolalia, special education, teaching | Leave a Comment »
